Exposed and Revealed
There are SO many things that are on my heart these days. Honestly, it’s overwhelming. I’ve really been trying to take the time to be quiet and go within. I have needed the clarity. I have needed to find my OWN voice in the topic of racism and not just follow the direction of others. And frankly, I have needed to educate myself. I don’t want to be the RAH RAH person on this. Now is not the time for me to just start ‘spewing off’ catchy phrases and popular hashtags. I want my response and more importantly my actions to be intentional and thoughtful. I want to stop, reflect, educate, LISTEN, pray & be thoughtful, and only then respond. So that is what I have been doing and here is what I am learning.
First off, change starts in our HEARTS. It is only from our hearts that we can truly affect our families, communities, nation & world. It starts with us. It starts with me. It starts with me getting super honest and vulnerable about how I am conditioned. How my life has been shaped. How little I truly know about our history, what the past 400 years have looked like for my black brothers and sisters in this country. How my status of white privilege makes me oblivious and naive to what is happening around me. And how my obliviousness actually makes me part of the problem.
It’s only from a place of vulnerability and not knowing, am I able to truly learn and begin to see and so that is where I have begun. This process of really searching deep on this topic makes me think about the Israelities wandering in the desert for 40 years. How they couldn’t get out of their own way as they sought to find the promised land and so what should have taken them 4 days, took them 40 years. Or the people of Judah who for so many years were led astray. Who sought false idols and were so far from God that they had no conscious awareness of much their own behavior was affecting their destiny and that of their ancestors.
We have been in this same place. Wandering aimlessly in this world, thinking that everything was great. That racism doesn’t exist. That black and white people are afforded the same opportunities. That in some cases black people are seen to have the advantage even. On the surface, all looks right with the world. On the surface, the people of Judah were practicing and exercising their ‘faith’ but God knew the truth. He could see what was in their HEARTS and frankly friend, it was evil.
This is where we are. Things on the surface have ‘appeared’ to be good up until these most recent events with the fatal and tragic murders of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and George Floyd. The truth is starting to come out. People are starting to pay attention. Everything that activists and the black communities have been saying for years is now finally starting to get some attention. While it’s a shame it’s taken this long and that more lives have been lost, we can only take responsibility now and more forward.
Yet - nothing will change … NO THING will change until we all take the step to look within. This is a SYSTEMIC issue that is so far reaching. Unraveling this beast of a mess that makes up racism in this country is monumental and starts over 400 years ago. Honestly, I don’t have the answers nor do I pretend to act like I do. But what I am doing is trying to use my voice to make a difference so here is what I am doing to take the initial first steps.
1) Educate Myself - I am first seeking to find the truth. I strongly believe that we are only taught in school what they want us to hear. I believe the REAL story was held from us so I am seeking to learn the truth. I want to know the REAL history of slavery, racism and discrimination. How it happened, how it was dealt with, and how it still exists today. There are great resources out there that I am finding and that others have shared with me and so here are just a few. I’d love to know what you have found as well! Let’s educate each other! I have been learning through:
The New Jim Crow as well as other articles and pieces written by Michelle Alexander
Following female black influencers such as Austin Channing Brown and Lisa Sharon Harper
2) Looking Within - As I listen, read and learn, I am reflecting on MY part in this. I’m asking and praying for God to reveal to me where I have shady places in my heart where I have biases or ignorance. To take a hard look at why I haven’t done anything before now. How much easier it has been to sit back and feel like ‘everything is okay’. To ignore the problem. To be ignorant to the issue because ‘it doesn’t affect me’. How by choosing ignorance and avoidance, I have actually become part of the problem. I have been asking God to expose and reveal those dark areas of my own heart that must be addressed. That must be brought out into the light and pulled out of my heart at the ROOT.
3) Using My Voice - I can no longer sit back and just watch. That while I cannot no longer say that my small voice doesn’t matter. that is just selfish. I feel like I have been called to RISE UP and use my voice to help bring justice. It’s no longer okay for me to be a bystander in this fight. I can no longer be afraid of saying the wrong thing or offending people. I probably will. I definitely will but when God calls us to something, He calls us to step out in faith and do it anyway. Taking action is MESSY. We will get mud on our face. I definitely will get mud on my face but it’s a small sacrifice for what is at stake here.
In fact, I’m gonna step on something here but I feel like it must be addressed. If as a white person, you are tired of hearing about this topic - if your eyes have glazed over when this topic has come up in conversation - if you are tired of seeing and hearing about all of the protests & messages on the news - if you have said ‘ALL Lives Matter’ over ‘Black Lives Matter’ then let me lovingly say that you are missing the whole point. Your ignorance and refusal to dig deep here is contributing to racism in this country. I know this because this has been me. And it stops here.
Will it for you?- I love the analogy I’m hearing that relates the matter to a family dynamic. Say one of your kids is hurting. They come to you and share how they have been treated poorly. How much they are hurting and that no one is listening to them. Would you respond to them, ‘I love all my kids the same’? Of course not. You would grab them, hug them, and love on them speaking life over the uniqueness that is THEM. You would tell them all the ways they are important and that they matter. You would look into their eyes and address them PERSONALLY in order to build them up. Yes, you love all your kids the same. Yes, of course ALL lives matter. But right now friends, our black sisters and brothers are hurting and need to be HEARD. We must make the space for them. We must listen and learn. And once we listen and learn, we then must act.
It’s time to make a decision. To join the fight for justice or not. Let’s not allow ignorance and passivity to reign here. It’s a decision we all must make yet let’s be intentional about where we stand.